So, who are these individuals, and how did they get to be in this position? Perfectionistic and controlling persons, especially when these traits are excessive, are diagnosed with Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder by psychologists. These individuals feel a need to perform perfectly at all times.
They may become obsessed with details, such as forgetting one thing among many responsibilities, and then feeling guilty for forgetting something so important. They may also worry about making a mistake or doing something wrong. In order to relieve these feelings of anxiety, they may go over and over possible scenarios in their head, trying to predict what might happen if something goes wrong.
These individuals may call themselves "responsible" people, but actually being responsible means taking action even when you don't want to. Being responsible also means accepting responsibility for your actions and learning from your mistakes. A perfect person would never make any mistakes or hurt others, so they do not learn from their experiences; instead they add more stress to an already stressful situation.
The need for perfection can cause problems in relationships. If your partner is a perfectionist, they may expect you to be perfect too. This may cause arguments between you if he/she does not like how you handled something at work or whatever other issue comes up.
Relationships are hard enough without adding perfectionism to the mix.
According to Judith Orloff, a psychiatrist, control freaks are generally drawn to persons who have a victim mentality or poor self-esteem. This is because the control freak feels certain that he or she will be able to exert control over such people, who typically struggle to establish and keep limits.
Control freaks often seek out relationships with authority figures for validation. If you're in a relationship with a control freak, try not to take it personally. He or she is looking for someone to control, not you - even if it seems that way.
The best thing that you can do to avoid being controlled by a control freak is to maintain your own sense of identity and self-respect. If you let someone else control you, then you have no power whatsoever. You become nothing more than a puppet, doing whatever they say without question.
Have a look at your relationship history. Have you been attracted to past or present partners because they were easy marks? Did you stay in bad relationships for too long? If so, there's a good chance that you still have not learned your lesson.
If you want to change something about yourself, start with your attitude. No matter what happens, remain confident in your ability to deal with difficulties. Never lose hope. And most important of all, believe in yourself.
You must also learn how to give up control.
The sort of perfectionist who holds people to impossible standards has a dark side. They have a narcissistic, antisocial personality and an aggressive sense of humor. They are unconcerned with social conventions and do not easily fit into the larger social picture. Although they may appear self-sufficient, they are actually lonely individuals who require constant attention and admiration.
Narcissistic personalities are obsessed with personal appearance and performance. They believe that they are inherently superior to others and can only be satisfied by receiving attention and praise from others. This person's need for recognition is so great that they will go to great lengths to obtain it. Their behavior may also be intended to intimidate or blackmail others.
Perfectionists share many traits with narcissists. Both people have an intense need for approval and dislike being criticized or failing at something. Narcissists try to get attention from others by acting in outrageous ways. Perfectionists use their talents to produce works of art or important documents and then hide them away in private collections or archives to avoid criticism.
People with narcissistic personalities cannot feel comfortable around others. They always need to be sure that they are giving everyone else's opinion equal weight with their own, and this makes relationships with other people difficult. Since they are never happy with themselves, they will constantly seek out new friendships or love interests to make them feel better about themselves.