Living with one's in-laws is still customary for newly married British Asian women. This rite of passage can be difficult for many people. Since my marriage, I've been living with my in-laws. After 15 years, my husband and I have finally purchased our first house. It's a big step for us to be able to afford this place on our own.
Asians believe that you should not break the law by refusing to let your wife divorce you. Also, it is believed that if she leaves you she will never find another good husband. Finally, they believe that it is better for her to stay with you because once you are divorced you cannot get back together again.
In some cases, an Asian man may ask his wife to move into his parents' home until he can provide for her himself. This is particularly common among Chinese men who want to show their respect to their in-laws. However, even after doing this, they would still marry her when she gets pregnant so that they are not breaking any religious rules or laws.
Also, some Asian women prefer to live at home with their parents instead of getting a job. This is especially true for young girls who need help making money or who don't feel comfortable working with other people. But regardless of the reason, living at home with your parents as a young adult is not recommended since it limits your opportunities to meet new people and make new friends.
Living with your parents may bring up a lot of old memories and behaviors, so don't be shocked if you have issues with your in-laws. When your spouse spends so much time with the individuals who raised them, they may be inclined to revert to childhood routines. For example, if your husband or wife acts like his or her mom or dad, then you can assume that they want to be treated like them too.
In addition, they will probably expect you to do things their way. If you aren't willing to give in sometimes, then you'll create more problems for yourself and your family. Remember, they are still related to each other through marriage, so giving in won't hurt their feelings. It's only natural for them to want what's best for their child-parent pair.
Spending time together as a couple might also cause problems. If your in-law issue doesn't involve money or power, then they might try to influence your spouse by saying things like "If you love me, then you'll..." In order to protect your marriage, it's important not to share secrets with your spouse's parents. This includes things like medical histories, drug use, and criminal records. They might tell others about these things and your spouse could feel embarrassed or influenced to act differently.
Finally, if you live at home forever, then you're putting your own needs on hold until you can't anymore.
Similarly, a foreigner does not have an inherent right to live in China just because he or she married a Chinese. However, beginning June 1, 2010, foreigners with a Chinese spouse residing in China can apply for a Family Visit Visa/Residence Permit with a lengthier stay in China.
That was the most difficult statement to swallow since there was some truth to it. He had been married for 21 years and had two kids in their twenties. He'd lived a full life, been married, and had children when I was all but an infant. His daughters were estranged from me and disapproving of our connection.
The Chinese government deleted a provision from the country's marriage statute in 2001 that made living together outside of marriage unlawful for a man and a woman. Today, the practice is only illegal if one or both cohabitants are already married to someone else. In fact, many couples in long-term relationships report that they have no choice but to live together because there are no affordable housing options available in most cities for those who don't make enough money to be considered "prince or princess".
However, even though it's not prohibited by law, most Chinese people believe that living together without getting married is wrong. They think that you should put up with anyone who lives with you and that it shows a lack of respect for your partner if you decide to share an apartment with another person. Some also say that if two people love each other then they shouldn't need to be together all the time to feel happy. Others claim that if you aren't married then you haven't truly committed yourself to your partner and might change your mind about being together once you get married or have children. Finally, some Chinese people believe that if you are married then you should stay that way forever.
In conclusion, living together is not illegal in China and most people here will not judge you if you choose to do so. However, some people may think that you are wasting your time if you choose to live together instead of getting married.
Chinese women have numerous positive characteristics that make them perfect brides. However, every marriage has issues, and the following guidelines may assist you in avoiding disagreements and living peacefully with your Chinese wife.
The first thing to remember is that Chinese women are very traditional and expect their husbands to act like men. Therefore, if your wife shows interest in other men, then you should take action now before things get out of control.
Second, treat her with love and respect. In return, she will show you the same toward you. If you fail to do so, there will be trouble ahead.
Third, communicate with each other! Even though Chinese are not good at expressing themselves, but still talking things over helps resolve disputes quickly and makes marriages happier. Share your thoughts and feelings with your wife, and see what she wants to tell you as well.
Fourth, don't argue! Fighting rarely solves anything, and can cause problems for your relationship further down the road. So try to keep arguments under control, or else you will damage your marriage forever.
Finally, look after your wife's needs. She deserves to be treated kindly, and if you cannot give her this much attention, at least do not neglect your own desires.