After my spouse died, I sought for methods to keep our love alive. I sought for methods to keep in touch with him beyond the veil. I was curious about death and dying. I looked for methods for us to stay linked via our love, as well as ways for us to communicate. I found several methods that have helped me stay connected to my husband after his death.
First of all, I wrote letters to him. Even though I knew he could not reply, it gave me a chance to express myself. Also, writing allowed me to get some distance from our relationship so that I could more objectively assess what we had together. Secondly, I called him on his phone number. Even though he was gone, I wanted to let him know that I was still around and that I was okay. This exercise helped me release some tension. Thirdly, I sent flowers to his family's home. This showed them that I cared even though I was unable to be there in person. Finally, I read literature on death and dying. This enhanced my own experience and helped me connect with others who were going through the same thing.
Spending time with friends and family after your spouse dies will help you feel less alone. Make sure to tell your stories too!
This book offers a meaningful combination of ideas and insights into the widow's grief journey. You may be numb with shock in the weeks and months following your husband's death.
I didn't get to live the rest of my life, but I did get to live the rest of his. Our time together was cut short, but the enjoyment we experienced will endure a lifetime. I shall be saddened by the death of my husband, my closest friend, my soul mate, my everything. But I'll take comfort in knowing that he adores me. That I made him happy before he passed on. And that we lived our lives together to the fullest.
At a loss for words? Here are some suggestions on what to say when you're asked by a family member or friend who has lost someone they love:
'She/he would have wanted you to know that...' This is a simple and effective way of letting them know what their loved one would have liked you to know after they died. It's appropriate for friends or family members to pass on messages at funerals.
'He/she is with the Lord now.' This is often said at funerals because it gives hope that the person being mourned is now free from pain and suffering.
'I'm sorry for your loss. ' Everyone loses someone they love, including those who don't consider themselves to be close to the person being mourned. Being aware that others are going through something difficult can help us show our sympathy.
By the end of his life, I wished for him to be free of the never-ending whirlwind of doctor's appointments, glimmers of hope that always vanished, bad news, and physical constraints that had consumed the final two years of our marriage. Our relationship was built on mutual respect, and it was frequently the envy of our friends. But at the end, I felt like a stranger in my own home.
I cannot say that I wanted him to die, but I can say that I wanted him to stop fighting so hard. His battle with lymphoma was not easy or pleasant for anyone involved.
My husband was one of the most giving people I know. He was active in our community, supporting many different causes. And yet, he was not happy with his situation. The cancer was consuming him, and there were times when I wondered if this was what he had wanted all along. If he could have chosen how he would have ended his life, he said it would have been as peacefully as possible. For these reasons, I believe it is fair to say that I wanted him to kill himself.
But why should this matter to you? Perhaps you have someone in your family who might want to end their life because they are suffering greatly? Or perhaps you are the one who is suffering - who is there for you? Maybe you should ask yourself these questions before you judge me.
My husband was a great man, and he will be missed by many.
You, as a human, most certainly desire some amount of bodily comfort. It's possible that you're looking for new ways to connect with people but haven't found anyone yet. Perhaps you crave intimacy but can't conceive having it with anybody other than your departed loved one. 7. Your living space appears to be vacant. You might want to consider renting out rooms in your home or finding another place to live.
Or perhaps you're just not feeling like yourself anymore. You may have trouble concentrating, sleep problems, and so on. These are all normal reactions to losing a loved one. As time passes, you should start to feel better about yourself again.
If you're still struggling with depression after the death of your spouse, it may be helpful to talk to someone who has been through something similar. A friend or family member who knows how you feel could help give you perspective or suggest ways you can move forward with your life.
Professional counseling is available for those who need it. There are many good therapists out there who can help you work through any issues that may come up.
It's important not to judge yourself too harshly for being depressed after the death of your spouse. Depression is a real thing that millions of people experience at some point in their lives. It's not your fault that you're suffering from it. Don't let this stop you from doing things that make you happy.