How to Deal with a Husband Who Has Temper Issues Don't add more gasoline to the flames. Anger has a crucial characteristic: it is fleeting. Wait till he's calmed down before proceeding. When he's calmer, address his rage. Define your limits. Set them and follow through on them. Choose your fights wisely. The finest generals understand that they should only fight fights that they can win. If he sees you as a threat rather than an ally, he will try to knock you out every time you cross him.
He needs help, not punishment. Hitting someone in anger makes things worse, not better. If he hits you, take him aside quietly and explain that this behavior isn't acceptable. Ask him to promise never to hit you again. If he does, walk away from him for a few minutes. Come back when he's calm enough to listen.
Don't argue with him when he's angry. It won't make things better. He may be able to shut off his feelings, but that doesn't mean that he knows what he's doing. Use your head, not your heart. Think about what you say before you say it. Remind yourself that you are talking to another human being, not to his child or his friend. Avoid making judgments against him even if he has wronged you.
If you are afraid that he might harm himself, take him to the hospital immediately. Even if he seems fine now, you can't tell what might happen if he loses control like that.
How to Deal with a Husband Who Has Temper Issues
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Consider these four choices for dealing with him.
What should I do in response to my husband's furious outbursts? He curses, shouts, and gets violent. No one deserves to be subjected to such rage from a partner, whether husband or wife. It's poisonous to you and your family, and it's destructive to your marriage.
Here are some suggestions for what to do when your husband loses his temper:
1. Don't take his anger personally. Anger is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. Even though he may not mean to show it, by shouting at you he is showing that he is very frustrated with his situation. Avoid interpreting every word as a personal attack; remember that he is probably suffering from stress too.
2. Set clear limits on his behavior. Tell him how his actions make you feel. Explain that certain behaviors are unacceptable and others are not. For example, if he throws things when he is angry, tell him that this makes you feel scared and hurt feelings. If he hits you, tell him that this makes you feel insecure and weak. Let him know that these things will not be tolerated anymore.
3. Do not argue back. Arguing only makes the situation worse. Try to keep discussions focused on the issue at hand.
People do evolve. No one is flawless, and even an angry person may learn and rehabilitate if the proper measures are taken. Your irritable spouse may have this personality flaw, but he or she may also have many other great characteristics. Nobody is flawless.
Anger or persistent negative thoughts can have long-term consequences for both the individual who is furious and the partner. It is reasonable that you may feel nervous at times if your husband is frequently angry.
Attending marital counseling is one of the finest methods to work out your marriage difficulties and get to the bottom of why he's furious. Whether you've been married for 20 years and know your spouse like the back of your hand, or you're newlyweds, a counselor can help disclose some underlying troubles he's experiencing.
It is not a good idea to become enraged in reaction to your husband's rage. If you can withstand his verbal barrage while remaining relaxed and cool, he will likely be ashamed by his conduct, ponder on it in order to improve it, and respect you much more.
It's as easy as that: keep your cool. This may be difficult to do, especially if your furious spouse is lashing out at you, but the calmer you can stay, the faster your partner will recover from his or her outburst. In the heat of the moment, being cool is a transitory tactic. When you can calm down later, you can deal with your partner's anger more effectively.
Here are some things to remember when your spouse is angry with you:
Don't take it personally: even though it may feel like he or she is attacking you personally, this is not the case. Your spouse is angry because he or she is hurt by something you did. Keep this in mind and don't take what you think your partner said too seriously.
Give him or her time: sometimes when we are angry, we want to jump right into an argument. But this won't help resolve anything and only makes matters worse. Give yourself and your partner time to cool off before having another conversation.
Focus on solving the problem: it may help if you focus on what you both need rather than who is at fault. For example, if your husband or wife needs space to think about what happened, then give them that space.
Avoid arguments: these only make matters worse and cause tension between you. If you must have a discussion with your partner, try to do so without getting upset.