Because your grandma shouted at her every day, it's completely natural. Don't worry, your subconscious has already learnt the behavior, and you will eventually shout at your children. By avoiding shouting at your children, you can break the pattern.
The next time you feel like shouting, think about what would happen if you didn't. Would anyone die? Of course not! So stop worrying about it and just don't do it.
When a youngster is screamed at, he or she is more likely to engage in bad conduct, which leads to even more shouting. It's a depressing cycle. If you're a parent who regularly screams at your children, consider whether any of the following reasons apply to you: You are unhappy with your life and feel like you need to let your child know it.
You were severely abused as a child and have not gotten over it. The only way you can let off some steam is by screaming at your kid.
You believe that if you give your child enough of a scare they'll behave.
You want to teach your child about how things should be done, so you scream at them instead.
You think it's funny to scare your child.
You hope that someday you will be able to scare him or her half to death.
You love him or her too much to ever hurt him or her intentionally.
You are overly protective of your child.
You feel like you are losing control of yourself when you yell at your child.
You find that yelling at your child actually makes things worse.
You cannot stand the idea that you might have said something wrong.
Your grandmother will believe that by shouting, she has made it apparent to you that you are the source of her rage. She might also be shouting to express her displeasure, which is difficult to hear with the yells. Your grandmother's constant yelling at you indicates that you are the source of her rage, and she is attempting to convey it.
Grandmothers tend to take out their frustrations on their grandchildren by yelling at them for no reason. This is especially common with older grandparents because they have more things they can get angry about. Sometimes they feel like they are the only one who can't afford to be quiet or ignore someone who has done them wrong, so they yell instead.
If your grandmother continues to shout at you even after you apologize, it may be time to talk with her about what is causing her to be upset. You should let her know that you don't want to cause her pain, but you need her to understand why you can't always avoid causing her stress.
It is important for children to learn how to resolve conflicts peacefully with their parents and grandparents. If you aren't allowed to argue back or defend yourself when your grandmother shouts at you, then you will never learn how to do so as an adult.
Children need to know that it is okay to feel anger but not to lash out physically or verbally. If you hit or say something disrespectful again your grandmother, she will only continue to fear you.
Recognize that screaming does not last forever. Your parents may appear to be shouting for two or three hours, but if you check at the time, you will notice that very few parents have the energy to do so. Your parents may cease shouting if you reply appropriately. Tell yourself that you are strong enough to withstand the ranting.
According to Markham, parents occasionally shout because they fear their children will not respond to anything else. If you don't appear to have heard your mother when she talked to you, have her step over and place a light touch on your shoulder, or ring a bell to gain your attention.
Your parent is upset for whatever reason, even if he or she is incorrect, and the screaming is a show of exasperation and a desire to be heard by you. Responding with hostility will make them feel misunderstood, leading to more shouting in the future. As they are not aware of your age, they cannot control their language.
If you ask your father why he yells at you, he will probably say that he is not going to explain his actions. However, knowing what we know about psychology today, it is likely that he does not want to admit that he is angry around you, so he avoids dealing with it instead. If this is the case, then it is important to understand that hearing your father get angry makes him uncomfortable, which causes him to lash out at you rather than address the issue directly.
He may also say that he is yelling at you because of something that you recently did or said. For example, your father may be furious that you told your friend that you liked her shirt, when in fact you were commenting on how cool it was that she wears such revealing clothes. In this case, he is trying to make sure that you do not embarrass him by acting inappropriately in front of other people.
Finally, he may simply want to let you know that he is unhappy right now.