It's very acceptable to "loathe" your wife from time to time. "Every long-term relationship has the potential to develop resentment, wounded feelings, rage, and disappointment," says Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, a marital counselor, therapist, and life coach. "It's natural for lovers to become irritable with each other, to feel jealous, and to want something different in their lives at times."
As long as you don't take these feelings seriously and don't act on them, then they are perfectly normal and healthy. If you do act on them, or let them build up into hatred, then you have crossed the line into abusive behavior.
What is love? Love is a feeling. It is an emotion. It is a commitment. It is friendship through good times and bad. It is loyalty to the end. It is knowing all about your partner but still being able to give them space. It is caring for someone even when you don't feel like it. It is sacrificing for the one you love. It is doing things for others without expecting anything in return. It is just being there whenever needed.
It is an action of the will. You can love someone deeply from the heart yet not feel any particular emotion toward them. Love is a choice that we make every day.
When you find yourself feeling hostile and resentful towards your wife, the most important thing to do is to figure out why she feels this way. Many guys want to jump in and simply want her to stop being unhappy, so they'll attempt everything without properly identifying the source of the problem.
The unfortunate fact is that any woman would be crushed if a man said he loathed her. If you are a man and you genuinely despise your wife, you have two choices. You either strive to make things better or you leave.
The unfortunate fact is that any woman would be crushed if a man said he loathed her. If you are a man and you genuinely despise your wife, you have two choices. You either strive to make things better or you leave. There is no in-between.
The truth is that most men don't feel this way about their wives. They may dislike something about them, but they generally try to overlook these flaws and keep on loving them anyway. This is how most marriages work. They aren't always perfect, but neither party ever doubts the love they have for each other.
If you hate your wife, there are only two ways out. One is to try to change her so she doesn't disgust you anymore. The other is to leave her. Don't worry about hurting her feelings by saying you hate her. That's not why we do things. We say things because we need to tell someone what we're feeling. If you truly hate your wife, then you should be able to look her in the eye and tell her so.
The most important thing is that you both know what the other is going through. Only then can you find a way forward. Maybe together you can fix whatever it is that's wrong with your marriage. Or maybe you should separate for a while and see if that helps.
Your wife used to adore you. Your wife now despises you. This is a situation that you can learn to overcome. When your wife says she hates you or behaves in that manner, it is a genuine expression of her sentiments. She is not trying to hurt you by saying this. Instead, she is telling you that you have become important to her. Your wife is not lying when she tells you that she hates you; she is merely expressing her feelings.
The cause of this change in attitude is simple. Your wife realized that she was being foolish to love someone who didn't even care for her. Now that she sees that you don't love her, she refuses to continue subjecting herself to your abuse. The only way you can get her back is by changing your behavior towards her. Stop acting like a jerk and she will once again start loving you.
If you are the one causing your wife's resentment, then you must change your ways. Treat her with love and respect and she will return your affection.
The fact that your wife doesn't love you anymore is clear to see. All you need to do is understand why this has happened and take appropriate steps to resolve the issue. Don't ask her to forgive you when you haven't even admitted your wrong doing.
The solution lies in knowing how to act around your wife.
Is it possible to love and despise your spouse at the same time? Yes, having a love-hate connection with your spouse is quite natural, but it is not a healthy relationship. Many individuals see their spouse or partner saying "I hate you" to them or to their partner, yet they continue to adore them. This shows that these people still have some type of affection for their spouse even though they feel negative about them sometimes.
Here are several reasons why someone might hate their spouse:
They think all their spouses/partners do is hold them back from achieving success in life. They believe that their spouse/partner prevents them from reaching their full potential as a person. These individuals feel like they cannot do anything right, and they believe that no one will ever love them.
They hate their job or any other source of stress in their lives because it feels like they are always fighting it. Stress can cause anyone to feel angry or hateful toward those they care about, so even if an individual isn't physically hurting their spouse or partner, they still may feel this way due to the tension between them.
If this description fits you, you have a love-hate relationship with your spouse. Love and hatred are two very different emotions that one person can experience at once for another.