You have the right to have a happy life and to disassociate yourself from those who are abusive to you. You have every right to break relations with your toxic family if they continue to insult you, violate your limits, and gaslight you. Creating space is very important in order to not become another victim of the same people.
Abusive families can be difficult to escape because they use their power over you to keep you trapped there. They will do anything to prevent you from leaving them so don't feel like you have to help them or try to fix things for them. Keep in mind that they are hurting too and trying to make matters worse would only cause more pain for all involved.
If you want to leave your family behind but don't know how, start by imagining what life would be like without them. Think about all the good times you had together and all the memories you have. Use these memories as fuel to get through any hard times you may be experiencing now that they're gone. It may take time but soon you'll forget about them and only remember the abuse when you think about your past.
The most effective way to escape an abusive family is by using your head and your heart. Look at the situation clearly and know exactly what you want. If you still go ahead with it anyway, at least you've made the best decision you could under the circumstances.
How to Cut Ties With a Toxic Family Member Recognize that it is abusive. You must quit downplaying and dismissing the hurt your family member has caused. Give up on the hope that they will change. Grieve the loss of not being able to have the type of connection you desired with this individual. Let go of the past wrongs done by this person.
It may help to write out all the reasons why you love and respect them even though they are toxic. This will help you deal with any feelings of guilt you might have about leaving them behind. Remember, you did nothing wrong; they brought their own misery upon themselves.
Now that you are ready, make an effort to let them know what you're doing and why. Tell them that you love them but that you cannot keep harming yourself by staying connected to them. Explain that you want to stop the pain for both of you by breaking your ties completely. Ask them if they will meet you halfway and agree to give counseling a try before cutting off entirely. If they agree, set a time and place for the first appointment and then follow through on it.
If they refuse to cooperate or if you feel like you can't handle another heartbreak, then stop trying to convince them to change and start looking into new friends instead. Focus on your health by going to therapy and getting support from others who have been through similar things.
When someone has a strained relationship with a member of their family, the question often arises as to whether the distance they have created between themselves and their family members is due to healthy boundaries (it is certainly true that some relationships are toxic and should be ended) or to an unprocessed emotional detachment.
The need to differentiate ourselves from those we love most in order to survive can be seen in many relationships around us daily. Whether it is a parent/child relationship, a friendship, or even with ourselves, we will sometimes act against our own best interests if doing so does not risk harming another person.
For example, if I feel like my parents aren't looking out for my best interests, I might choose to go to school far away from home so that I can learn a career that will help me escape them. Or if I am having problems with a friend, I might avoid them by staying after school let out or waiting until they fall asleep before calling them.
Sometimes we place limits on our relationships in order to protect ourselves. If you constantly find yourself trying to fix your parents' broken relationships, for example, you might want to consider whether you need to take care of them by rescuing them every time they come crying to you about their failed attempts at dating.
Emotional detachment is a more extreme form of distancing oneself from those we love most.