My husband has two children of his own, and they are with us around 60% of the time. I treat them as if they were my own, and he has said the same about me to others. I'm torn between telling him I read what he said and how heartbroken I am. I'm upset because he was under no obligation to marry me. I've been married before, and I know all about broken hearts and lying eyes. He didn't look at me the way other men have, so why should I have trusted him?
I love my husband but I can't help feeling like something is wrong when he says things like this.
Perhaps you could use some advice on how to leave your husband when you have a child. It all depends on your circumstances. Leaving a marriage with children should not be an emotional or rash decision.
To avoid more specifics or conversation on the subject, the breakup is frequently done through email or text message. This naturally leaves you perplexed as to why your relationship ended, and he shows little interest in filling you in on the circumstances. 3.
There are several reasons why your spouse may be withdrawing from you and the children. He might be depressed. He might be dissatisfied at work and lack the emotional or relational skills to express it to you or his boss. He might be dissatisfied in his marriage and not know how to express it.
Spouses often feel embarrassed or ashamed to tell each other what they need, so they distance themselves from one another instead. This way they don't have to talk about their feelings and problems. The more they withdraw, the more pain they cause each other without even knowing it.
If you want to get your husband back, you must first understand why he is pulling away from you. Only then can you come up with a plan to fix the problem.
You've noted two crucial points: your spouse has previously expressed a desire for children, and he has also indicated that he may alter his mind. Have you two been able to have a productive conversation regarding what caused him to alter his opinion, while being relatively open to this shift in the future? Or is he just not interested in having kids right now?
It's important to understand that spouses come in all shapes and sizes. Some women want five kids some women want one. Some men can't handle the stress of parenting others are more flexible. But whatever your partner wants or doesn't want there's no harm in being open with your thoughts and feelings.
So if your husband hasn't shut down any possibility of changing his mind about wanting children then there's no need to feel pressured into having kids when you don't want to. It's okay to be honest about your wishes and see where things go from here.
The most important decision is whether you're happy with not having children or whether it's a deal-breaker in your relationship. It may undoubtedly be a deal-breaker for some (as seen here, where they even composed a song about it!). Based on your query, it appears like you intend to push through and make the best of your childless existence with your husband. So don't feel bad if he doesn't want any too!
They say marriage is a partnership, so if you don't share the same vision on how to raise the children then it's time to separate. If your husband doesn't want kids then it's okay. There are many other men out there who will be happy to take on this role. You should look at it as an opportunity instead of a burden.
Kids change your life; it's what changes your life. Your perspective on everything will shift once you have them. Being a parent is not for the weak-willed or those who can't handle stress - it takes a lot of dedication and hard work. But anyone can do it if they put their mind to it. And now that you know how much effort it takes, maybe you'll decide not to have children after all.
Remind yourself that you lack the genetic predisposition to perceive this child through a kinder, more loving lens. Do not request that your partner spend less time with his children because you are feeling neglected. If he feels compelled to pick, he will grow resentful of you.
When you include children from a prior marriage, ex-spouses, and other family members, you have a marriage full with landmines ready to blow. But since we're romantics who like love, we approach this minefield with rose-colored glasses, optimistic about fresh beginnings. Few people enter with care and planning.
According to research, in order to properly move ahead, couples must establish productive discussion about their recurring concerns; otherwise, they become embroiled in gridlocked dispute.
If you discover that your husband is not interested in having children, you will need to be open to the possibility that he might never change his mind about this aspect of marriage. Of course, this issue was important to him before you married, and it's possible that he will always feel this way. However, if you want your marriage to succeed, you must be willing to consider the fact that he might someday come to view children as a burden rather than as a blessing.
This would not only affect the couple's ability to have children, but it could also influence his willingness to engage in sexual intimacy with you. Although this situation might seem like a nightmare for both of you, it's important to remember that children are not a punishment but an amazing gift from God. They can play a vital role in healing any past wounds between you, and once you both accept this fact, you will be able to move forward together.