Is there such a thing as a "happily ever after" marriage?

Is there such a thing as a "happily ever after" marriage?

Highly passionate courtships may not ensure a happily ever after, but they are connected with a longer divorce road. Many marriages survived the seven-year milestone because the spouses engaged soon and felt intensely enamored of one another.

The more time that passes since your wedding day, the more likely it is that your marriage will face challenges down the road. About 80% of marriages experience at least one major problem during their first seven years, according to research from the University of Chicago. And while many marriages survive these difficulties, others fall by the wayside. One in four marriages will end in divorce.

There is no such thing as a "happily ever after" marriage. But if you look around at other happy couples, you'll see that they had something most people miss out on: passion. They burned bright for each other, and that fire still burns today. It's this passion that allows some marriages to last forever.

Is it possible to have a happy marriage after a short courtship?

The core claim of this statement is that lifelong happy marriages are feasible with extremely brief courtships. This is something I would agree with. My argument is that it's an issue of risk vs reward. Sure, a few marriages may prosper after brief courtships, but for every one of these cases, many more result in divorce. Risk assessments must be made before entering into any long-term commitment.

Here's how statistics compare courtiers who marry quickly with those who don't: 90% of quick marriages end in divorce compared to 50% of traditional marriages. That's a huge difference! And it gets worse - the percentage of courtiers who marry slowly but remain married for several decades is very small.

So yes, it's possible to have a happy marriage after a short courtship. But you should understand that this type of relationship has its risks. They're just not equal comparisons between traditional and slow courtship marriages.

Can a person fall in love with an arranged marriage?

Even though their parents or grandparents planned their weddings, many individuals fall in love and enjoy long marriages. Even if the final connection feels more like a nice friendship than an intense love, the majority of individuals may find a niche that allows them to live a happy and fulfilled life. 3.7 million Americans have an inherited disease known as cystic fibrosis. There are approximately 70,000 new cases diagnosed each year in the United States.

The disease causes mucus to build up in the lungs, causing difficulty breathing and death due to pneumonia. The most common cause of death for people with cystic fibrosis is not cancer or another chronic disease, but rather lung failure. Life expectancy is limited because patients require constant care and many die before age 40. However, some individuals with cystic fibrosis have managed to find spouses who will marry them regardless of their disease.

In 2005, a man named Jeff Gammage and his wife Courtney married despite her having cystic fibrosis. They met when they were students at Brigham Young University (BYU) and were assigned to live together on campus. Although she was from Idaho and he was from California, they fell in love and got married. After graduating from BYU, they moved to Maryland where she could receive specialized treatment for her disease. He then went to work for the Health Management Institute in Bethesda while she continued to get better.

What are the traits of a long-lasting marriage?

The keys to a long-lasting marriage aren't always so obvious, because everyone's concept of a great marriage is different. However, when it comes to couples that have happy and long-lasting marriages, there are characteristics that everyone may use in their own relationships. These qualities range from common to rare, but they all play an important role in creating a strong marriage foundation.

Here are the main traits that most long-lasting marriages have in common:

- They understand that their relationship is unique and should be treated as such. No two people will ever be exactly the same, and trying to make your partner feel small or replaceable will only cause problems down the road.

- They communicate effectively with each other. In a marriage, communication isn't just about saying what you want or feeling something; it's also about listening to each other's needs and desires. Without good communication, it's impossible to build a strong relationship.

- They seek out each other's opinions and accept one another as individuals. In a marriage, you shouldn't just rely on your partner to meet your needs; they should also be allowed to grow into who they are without interference from you.

- They spend time together enjoying themselves rather than focusing on their chores or duties.

At which point in a marriage is the level of satisfaction at its peak?

One of the early results in the literature on marital satisfaction is that spouses' satisfaction tends to peak around the time of the wedding, following which it begins a slow but steady drop (Burgess & Wallin, 1953; see Gottman & Notarius, 2002; and Karney & Bradbury, 1995 for reviews of subsequent research). For example, one study found that satisfaction among married college students tended to be highest right after they were married and then declined over time (Schmidt & Rose, 1994). Another study following couples over time showed that satisfaction among newlywed husbands was highest right after their weddings and then decreased over time while satisfaction among newlywed wives did not change much during the first year after marriage but began to decline later (Donges et al., 2001). Still other studies have shown similar patterns of stability or decline in satisfaction over time.

These findings are consistent with research on individual differences in happiness. Studies show that people tend to be most satisfied with their lives right after they get married or move in together and again about a year later. But then levels of satisfaction tend to drop off as marriages and relationships experience stressors such as financial difficulties, conflict with in-laws, or illness in the family (Di Tella & MacCulloch, 2003; Lyubomirsky, 2005).

What is the U-shaped curve of marital satisfaction?

There is, of course, the "highs" of the "honeymoon" years, then the sharp drop in the middle years, and then once more, an increase in the post-parental years. This is known as the "U-curve of marital satisfaction." The annualized divorce rate also reflects this trend in marital quality, particularly during the first decade. After which time, it becomes a question of how long each couple can keep their happiness elevated beyond what would otherwise be expected.

The honeymoon period refers to that first year or two of marriage when everyone is in love and life is definitely not boring! During this time, couples experience extreme highs and lows in their relationship, with the peaks being higher and the valleys being lower than after they have kids. But even with all of the changes that come with married life, people still need to feel loved and wanted by their partners; otherwise, they will find themselves in another relationship later on down the road.

In fact, research has shown that marriages tend to become more similar over time, especially if one spouse comes from a family home with limited financial resources. As these differences grow larger, so does the risk of divorce. So although early marriages are usually better off than late ones, just about any age is possible if one or both parties lacks the maturity needed for success in marriage.

Now back to our subject at hand: the U-curve of marital satisfaction. First, let's look at the high points (or highs, depending on how you view things!).

About Article Author

Jill Fritz

Jill Fritz is a psychologist that specializes in counseling and psychotherapy. She has her PhD from the University of Michigan, where she studied the effects of trauma on mental health. Jill has published multiple books on depression and anxiety disorders for children and adolescents, as well as written many articles for professional journals about mental health issues for various age groups.

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