Whining Prevention According to Schultz, this is not a deliberate tactic on the side of children, but rather a taught behavior in which parents frequently have a role. A little toddler may scream or even throw a temper tantrum. An older child, on the other hand, who has greater self-control, is more prone to whine.
He suggests that this habit is learned from adults and is therefore not innate to children. For example, if you ask a parent what they want most when they are crying, they will usually say "I don't know." This means that they have been conditioned to feel better when they complain instead of solving the problem.
In addition, parents can also learn this behavior from each other. If one parent sees the other complaining about some task being hard, then they too will start complaining too. This way, everyone ends up feeling bad and doesn't know how to solve the problem.
Finally, there are environmental factors that can contribute to whining. If a child is raised with a lot of criticism and disapproval, he will probably feel like everything he does is wrong. He might try harder, but it won't matter because nobody will ever love him. Under these circumstances, it's no wonder that he would want to let people know about his problems.
However, if he is raised by parents who tell him every day how much they love him, this will help him develop self-esteem.
When a youngster whines, consider whether the child is sleepy, hungry, thirsty, agitated, or overloaded. "Do we cram too much into our days?" Did they sleep late last night? Is an emotional problem weighing on them (such as a new baby or a disagreement with a friend)?" Is there a physical problem troubling them? Then, model a calmly. "Whining is like screaming quietly," said Gandhi. "It hurts others' ears and annoys those who are trying to help you.
As soon as you notice someone is about to whine, stop what you're doing and give them your full attention. Ask them open-ended questions such as "What's wrong?" or "Why are you complaining?" Encourage them to talk through their problems rather than just listing their grievances.
Here are some more suggestions:
Give him something to eat or drink.
Take him for a walk.
Read him a story or tell one of your own stories.
Play with his toys or sports equipment.
Talk with him about important things in his life.
Listen without judgment; simply hear him out.
Respond positively to any complaints he may have; for example, by taking action to fix the problem.
How to Avoid Reinforcing Negative Behavior in Children
There are several more methods to utilize positive punishment to impact behavior, such as shouting at a youngster for inappropriate behavior. When they misbehave, have them complete an uncomfortable chore. When he fails to obey the rules, he is given more duties and obligations. This can be done in the form of chores that need to be done around the house or school assignments that need to be finished early.
Yelling at a child to get his attention is considered positive punishment because it teaches him that yelling will induce change. However, this method should not be used as a substitute for physical discipline.
Physical punishment involves hitting or physically correcting a child to teach him social behavior. This includes spanking, slapping, kicking, punching, and pushing him against a wall. Physical punishment has many negative effects on children including anger management issues, low self-esteem, and a tendency toward violence.
Psychological punishment involves using your words to give a child feelings of humiliation or disgrace. Psychological punishment can also involve withholding love from a child to make him feel bad about himself. For example, you could ignore him or talk to him harshly when he does something wrong.
So, when you make a mistake, explain the repercussions so your youngster understands the consequences of undesirable conduct. Discuss when and when certain actions are and aren't suitable. As your child grows older, you may believe he is no longer learning by copying you. Nothing could be further from the truth. Children still learn through observation and repetition. They watch what you do, then try to repeat it. The more they see adults making mistakes, the less likely they will be to follow suit.
If you always correct your children when they complain about their bad luck or say "that's life" after being told "don't touch!" or "watch where you're going!" they'll never learn how to deal with adversity. Even if you don't agree with the criticism, let your child know that you hear him/her out and that you care enough to discuss the matter.
Children also learn from example. If you get upset easily, yell at your children for no reason, hit them physically, etc., you're not only teaching them that violence is acceptable, but also that feelings should be kept hidden. It's up to you to set an example of calmness and self-control for your young 'un.
Last, but not least, children learn from their successes as well as their failures. If you always celebrate your child's achievements even if they aren't big ones, he or she will feel important and valued.