What are codependent traits?

What are codependent traits?

The Takeaway: Codependency characteristics show one's challenges in loving, accepting, trusting, and being genuine to oneself. Codependents are plagued with emotions of shame, remorse, and inadequacy, which drive them to continually attempt to please others, show their value, and seek external validation at tremendous expense and with little benefit.

Codependency is a term used to describe the emotional dependence that some people have on other people—especially those people who have a significant role in their life, such as family members or romantic partners. In order to feel loved and cared for, they may do anything from getting into arguments to break up with someone, to giving up own rights, to comply with the demands of their partner or family member.

In addition to having feelings of love and affection for others, people who suffer from codependence also have intense feelings of guilt and responsibility for other people's thoughts and actions. They may worry about what would happen to them if their partner or family member decided to end the relationship.

Furthermore, codependents often try to protect those they care about by suppressing their own needs and desires. For example, they may act out against their own health by refusing to address any issues that might be contributing to their anxiety or depression. Or they may avoid seeking help when they need it because they don't want to lose connection with their partner or family member.

What are the characteristics of codependent relationships?

Codependency is a set of characteristics or a style of connecting to oneself and others. People-pleasing, low self-esteem, fear of abandonment, trouble trusting, inadequate boundaries, caretaking or rescuing are some of the most frequent symptoms of codependency.

Characterized by an unhealthy relationship with one's body, feelings, thoughts, or behaviors, codependence involves a person who is unable to stand on their own two feet because they rely on others for emotional support and feel guilty when they cannot provide that support.

People in codependent relationships have an unconscious need to be accepted and validated by others so they continue to receive these feelings of love and acceptance. They also have an unconscious need to be independent from others; therefore, they avoid taking responsibility for their thoughts and actions.

If you're in a codependent relationship, it's important to understand its roots in order to achieve freedom from this limiting pattern.

Codependency is based on an illusion that people can control life through their behavior. Since this approach doesn't work for anyone, no one wins in a codependent relationship.

Under the guise of caring, those in codependent relationships try to control others by making them feel guilty if they decide to walk away. They may even go as far as to say hurtful things about the person to get their point across.

What are the characteristics of codependency in a relationship?

Codependency is a relational behavioral disorder in which one person facilitates another person's addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or underachievement. Codependency is defined by an excessive reliance on other people for acceptance and a feeling of identity. It is also characterized by a need to be accepted by others and a fear of being alone.

People with codependent traits may find it difficult to say "no" to others. They may make unreasonable demands of those around them in order to feel important and secure. They may also have a hard time controlling their own impulses, acting responsibly, or setting limits with others.

In addition to having issues with independence and self-control, people with codependent traits are likely to obsess over past hurts and offenses, feel insecure about their value as a person, and suffer from anxiety or depression.

If you're in a relationship with someone who exhibits many of these traits, it's called codependency. It's not your fault, but it does affect your relationship.

Codependents often seek out relationships where they can be used, rather than ones that allow them to grow up and become independent.

If you want to know more about codependency or whether your relationship is healthy, ask yourself these questions: Are there things I can't do by myself?

What are the three main components of codependency?

Spann's research led her to the conclusion that codependency is comprised of three components: an extreme focus outside of the self; a lack of openly expressing one's feelings; and an attempt to derive purpose and meaning from relationships with others rather than one's own self. These components explain why individuals who are codependent tend to have imbalanced relationships — they place their needs after those of others instead of looking after number one first.

Codependents often feel responsible for the actions of people who abuse them or else feel unworthy because they cannot meet another person's expectations of them. They may also try to fulfill other people's needs by providing them with assistance or sacrificing themselves in order to protect them. Finally, they may avoid dealing with their own problems because doing so would make them appear weak or give away their secret soul-searching effort.

People can be codependent in any relationship, but it is particularly common among those in romantic partnerships due to the importance placed on such relationships. A study conducted by Spivack and Schmeidler found that almost all (95%) of the women interviewed were codependent, while only half of the men reported being dependent.

The term "codependency" was first used by Dr. Robert Glover in his book, Love Is Letting Go of Fear.

Do you have a codependent personality?

Here are some indicators that you may have a codependent personality: You're having trouble expressing how you're feeling. You're having trouble expressing how you're feeling emotionally. You downplay your own emotions or opinions. You find it challenging to make judgments or function alone. You need others to approve of you before you feel good about yourself.

These are all characteristics of a codependent personality. If you recognize yourself in any of these descriptions, you need to know that it's not wrong to feel the way you do. It's just part of being human. The only thing that can help you is understanding what motivates your feelings and learning to deal with them.

First, remember that you aren't alone. Second, learn more about codependency so you understand why you act the way you do. Only then can you take steps toward changing your situation.

Are codependents attracted to other codependents?

Others who are codependent have poor self-esteem and self-worth and are drawn to people who require them. Thus, they are susceptible to being treated badly by others or to repeating these behaviors with other people.

Codependents are attracted to individuals who have similar issues with control and abandonment. These individuals need someone who will support their attempts at change and love them even when they fail. Since codependents lack confidence in themselves, they rely on others to feel good about themselves.

If you're a codependent, then you probably know a lot of things that need fixing. Maybe you've tried to fix these problems yourself but haven't had much success. That might make you feel like a failure. Or maybe you just give up trying because it's too hard alone. Either way, you're likely to attract another codependent person. They may be the one who brings out your issues with control and abandonment. Or they may do it without even knowing it. Either way, this person needs you to help them get through these issues so they can be free from them.

Codependency is a serious problem that affects many people in some way or another.

About Article Author

Barbara Pinto

Barbara Pinto is a licensed psychologist, who has been practicing for over 20 years. She has experience in individual therapy, marriage and family therapy, and group therapy. Barbara's areas of expertise include anxiety disorders, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), among others.

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