The consequences of any dominating relationship may be disastrous. Unfortunately, people who have been abused by a controlling relationship may endure a variety of severe consequences. It is common for the victim to find it difficult to trust a new relationship. Constant emotional abuse saps their self-esteem. A person who has been emotionally abused will often try to avoid further pain by avoiding personal responsibility and by denying their own feelings.
Abused people may also become anxious or depressed. They may suffer from insomnia or eat too much or too little food. Abused people may use drugs or alcohol to cope with their problems. The long-term effects of emotional abuse are likely to be very damaging.
People who are controlled by someone else tend to have a poor sense of identity. They feel like they aren't good enough as they are. If the controller is an abuser, the victim will believe that they caused the abuse by being insufficiently loving or respectful. This can lead to feeling guilty and ashamed even into old age.
Control can also have negative effects on our physical health. If you are controlled by a drinker or drug addict, for example, you will probably experience stress when trying to quit either substance. This can cause headaches, nausea, and fatigue. It is important not to add more stress to your life by trying to control addicts or drinkers. This only makes things worse for you.
This is a method used by a controlling spouse to get you emotionally committed in the relationship early on. He will then manipulate your emotions to make you feel horrible about everything you do. You'll gradually relinquish control and do whatever it takes to avoid being plagued with guilty feelings.
The controlling person's goal is to make his or her partner feel inadequate, incapable of making decisions for himself or herself. This person wants you to feel sad, afraid, and humiliated daily. He or she uses guilt as one of their main tools for achieving this goal.
Guilt is an emotion that occurs when we believe we have done something wrong or violated someone's rights. It is a feeling that comes from the inside and can be seen on the face. Guilt has two forms: internal and external. Internal guilt results from within ourselves and can be positive or negative. External guilt comes from others and can be positive or negative as well. Internal and external guilt are both necessary for us to learn from our mistakes and grow as people.
Controlling partners use guilt to make their spouses feel terrible about themselves. They do this by keeping them hostage to their emotions, demanding constant reassurance that they aren't too cold or angry, and never letting up until they receive it. If you try to leave them, they will accuse you of trying to hurt them even more by rejecting them.
Here's what you should do if you learn your spouse satisfies the requirements. The overwhelming reaction to my essay, "20 Signs Your Partner Is Controlling," was both encouraging and disheartening. As glad as I am to spread the information about these relationship warning flags, the somber reality remains: far too many individuals are suffering in toxic relationships. If you or someone you know is currently being abused, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit the website for more information and resources.
The first thing you should do if you suspect your partner is controlling is to take care of yourself. You will need energy left over for fighting back if you are to prevail in a confrontation with him or her. So stop doing things that may injure yourself physically or emotionally. Cut back on work hours or jobs if necessary so you have enough time to think and sleep. Avoid arguments or disputes unless they are absolutely necessary.
If you feel like you can't leave your partner, then you need to get help from a friend or family member. Tell someone what is going on so they can be there for you during this difficult time. They can help provide support and guidance while you decide what to do next.
Finally, remember that you are not alone. Many other people have been through something similar and are ready and able to help. Seeking advice from a friend or family member is a good idea anytime so keep those lines of communication open.